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My book, my focus, and telling myself porkies

I’m back working on my book. If you’ve followed me for a while you may recall me talking about writing this book many times…over the last 11 years.

It started with the very first version all those years ago. I got to second draft, then quit. To be honest, I don’t regret it. That book was a pile of crap. Well, that’s probably a bit harsh, but it couldn’t have been any more watered down if I’d tried. And it wouldn’t have clearly explained what I wanted to say. At the time I found speaking my message to be a terrifying thing. Taking something that I knew to be true, but most others didn’t believe, and constantly putting that out into the world, was crazy challenging for me. And this was reflected in the book draft.

A few years later, when I was more settled in my work, I came back to the book. Not the first version. I’d deleted that. I re-wrote it. The funny thing is I don’t remember it at all. I don’t know when it was, I don’t know how much I wrote, I don’t know why I stopped. All I remember is that I had a proper second crack at the book, but then drifted away from it again. Deleted that one too.

For the current version of the book, I joined a book-writing course. I spent about 2 months doing the first draft. The woman running the course advised that you take a break before getting stuck in to the editing. Do you suppose there’s any chance at all that she meant a 2 year break? Yeah, I thought not. The funny thing is that I thought it was only last year that I wrote it. I was shocked to realise 2 years had past! If you read my last blog, then this was obviously another one of the lies I was telling myself. I lied away a whole year!

BUT this time I’m determined to finish and publish. I like what I’ve written. It feels like a good representation of my work and I’ve done my best, within the pages, to explain why and how to heal from grief after a death. To break down my G.R.I.E.F Process and all it’s intricacies.

I have reviewers lined up, and plans to self-publish.

Annnnd I’ve learnt a big lesson about myself recently. That I’ll trick myself into thinking I’m working on something, when I’m not. So now I come to the book daily, even if I only have 15 minutes. Slow and steady publishes the book. I don’t buy my stories that next week I’ll focus on it. Or that I have been focusing on it, when really it hasn’t seen the light of day in 2 years. I come to it every day – that’s how I know I’m working on it. That’s how I’ll get it done.

I guess I’m sharing this here just to let you know what I’m doing and where I’ve been. And because a little bit of accountability goes a long way.

If you are one of my long-time readers you may be taking my intentions with a grain of salt. Understandable, as you’ve heard this spiel before. More than once!

Know that I plan to prove you wrong. So watch this space over the next few months!



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