Are you “fine”? (The terribly low standards of our grief)

by Kristie West May 3, 2022

When we talk about how people are doing after a death we are basically talking about how well they are managing their grief. Are they doing pretty badly? Struggling? Taking it hard? i.e. unable to function well – clearly upset, depressed, miserable. Unable to get out of bed. Crying often and publicly. Or are they […]

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The need for skepticism in current times

by Kristie West September 24, 2021

Back in the early days of my grief work, when I blogged a lot more (read: before I had a child), now and again a blog would come to me that I just didn’t want to write. The reason being that what I share about grief and death is a little…odd. You know what I […]

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No, your grief is not a measure of your love for them

by Kristie West September 14, 2021

This is a belief that I bump up against all the time. The idea that the immensity of your grief shows the immensity of your love for them. And that if you loved them a lot, then it’s right and appropriate for you to be in grief. A lot. For a very long time. (Like […]

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Honouring the age they died

by Kristie West August 31, 2021

Someone was telling me about a video they watched recently of people honouring Amy Winehouse on the anniversary of her death all these years later. The way they ‘honoured’ her was by talking about all the wonderful things that she shoulda/coulda/woulda done…if not for her ‘untimely’ death. Basically a complete focus on the things she […]

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The easy way

by Kristie West August 4, 2021

It’s important to think about death. Very important. Buuuut…it ain’t easy. Most people fight it. Tooth and nail. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell you to think about it or plan for it. You just don’t want to do it, right? Because it’s scary. Or it’s morbid. Or it makes you feel ick. […]

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Why the idea of “getting over it” is so triggering

by Kristie West July 23, 2021
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My book, my focus, and telling myself porkies

by Kristie West July 13, 2021

I’m back working on my book. If you’ve followed me for a while you may recall me talking about writing this book many times…over the last 11 years. It started with the very first version all those years ago. I got to second draft, then quit. To be honest, I don’t regret it. That book […]

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The lies we tell ourselves

by Kristie West June 20, 2021

I bought an exercise program a year ago. Actually it was 2 different programs. And it was 2 years ago, though I like to believe it was only 1. Health and nutrition are very important to me and I put a lot of time, energy, and money into these, especially since my daughter was born. […]

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Autumn and death

by Kristie West June 12, 2021

I’m a summer gal. Always have been. Winter is too damn cold. Spring and Autumn still aren’t quite warm enough. Summer is where it’s at for me. Give me a beach and summer clothes. But, in the area where we have lived for the last few months, I have grown to love Autumn. Not knowledge […]

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Procrastinating my pain…and guilt

by Kristie West May 31, 2021

I remember writing in the blog I did about Bonnie’s death that I knew it would potentially be easy to just drift away from the thought of her death an the feelings that accompany it. I wrote that, with the distance from her and not having her in our every day lives, it would be […]

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