Your first Christmas without someone you love– part 5: Don’ t drink and grieve
Now I don’t want to sound like your grandma here…..but……..the last blog in this Christmas series is a simple tip about something we always think will help…but never does. Drinking.
If this is your first Christmas since someone you love has died and you’ve been worried about how the day will go, then one of the simplest and most important things you can do to make the day easier on you is to mind your alcohol intake.
Now I am not going to be totally boring and impractical and tell you not to drink anything – that can be very difficult on Christmas. But it will help you to limit how much you drink.
Alcohol is a well-documented mood altering depressant drug. It’s a downer. Think about it – you have a drink at the end of a hard day to chill you out. Alcohol lowers your mood. It might not always feel like it…but it does. And if you don’t feel the full effects when drinking you certainly will later in the day or the next day.
So have a drink or two with your friends and family if you want to of course. I’m not saying to go teetotal for the day – that can be pushing it for a lot of us. But when it comes to more than those couple ask yourself whether you need to feel lower. Whether drinking a depressant is going to ultimately make the day easier……..or harder. And then decide.
This is not just a tip for Christmas when you’re dealing with a death. It’s for any time at all when you are trying to keep your moods stable. Alcohol is not your friend in this endeavour.
Also it can take you out of the space of being able to focus on the people around you and enjoying their company. And there is potentially joy, fun and laughter to be had on the day….so long as you allow it. 🙂
I hope you’ve found this blog series helpful.
To find all the tips – and a couple more – in an e-book for you click here.
I hope you do have a good Christmas and enjoy the time with the family and friends that are with you on the day.
Lots of love,
Kristie
xx
{ 8 comments }
My beloved mother died three weeks ago and I have been dreading this first Christmas without her. How I wish I had discovered your series earlier! I have just read through all your advice this Christmas morning and it has really helped me put things in perspective and given me the strength to get on with the day. Thank you Kristie for your wise and compassionate words. I will be following your blog in the days and weeks to come as I journey through my grief at the loss of my Mum.
My Dad died two and a half months ago, and I was having the whole “not-feeling-anything” reaction up until my work Christmas party. Guess how it went!
Oh God. Drinking and grief go together like the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you ever! Ask me how I know.
Hi Marie,
I’m very pleased you found my blogs and that they helped you. I hope you had a good Christmas and managed to have time for your mum as well as for yourself and other people in your life.
I’d love to hear how the day went for you.
If there is any topic around your mum’s death that I haven’t written about but you’d like to read about then let me know – I blog very regularly so am always looking for new ideas of what to write about.
Kristie
xx
Hi Megan,
Oh I can certainly guess! This is one of the times that you can get away with this type of thing – some of the people you work with would still have been very aware how recent your dad’s death was…and will put it down to that. ………Otherwise you’ve gotta chalk this one up to experience.
I got myself into some doozie situations by combining grief and alcohol in the months after dad died. Most I laugh at now…but some are still a little cringe-worthy!! If we ever meet we can swap stories. 🙂
Hope Christmas was good for you and your family and that you found a good way to include your dad in the day.
Kristie
xx
Hi part 5 was nice to read but I do not drink anyway.
Hi Sonya, lovely – that makes this part nice and easy for you!
Kristie
xx
Thank you Kristie. I can relate to all parts of this blog having lost my Dad in April. I’m not sure if you still check this page, but if you do, I want you to know how much it has helped. It all sounds so clear, but some days clarity doesn’t come and so we need a little nudge in the right direction xxx
You’re very welcome Lucy. 🙂
Kristie
xx