Having told a couple of people last week – a couple of people who didn’t know me – that I was going to attend a death festival, I was then faced with questions about what type of music was going on at this ‘festival’.
Nope this is not the type of festival I would have been at with my first boyfriend, who was the lead singer in a death metal band. (I know I know – we were an odd pair. That’s a story for another time.) Nope…I don’t believe I saw any head-banging going on.
It was the Southbank Centre’s festival – Death: Festival for the Living. And it was a very big deal. I have been assured an event of this size and nature is unprecedented in the UK. And at what is apparently Europe’s largest art centre too.
I have read a few blogs on the ‘Deathfest’ the last few days…and realised it is time to write my own.
Working with the Death Cafe I didn’t get to see too much of the festival – but there were talks, coffin displays (quirky stuff like a kite coffin, a car coffin, and a cocoa pod coffin….not the boring ones you normally see), poetry, performances, debates, workshops….you name it, there was something there to represent most parts of the industry.
When meeting earlier in the week with an official from the centre, he explained that they really didn’t know what to expect when running a festival around ‘such a taboo and controversial topic’. It seemed they were a little concerned that their staff would be overwhelmed by weeping, distraught people, and a largely elderly audience. It couldn’t have been further from the truth.
The festival was very busy, the mood was light (it felt just like any other festival at the Southbank Centre), people were open and curious, and I saw only one person in tears. This was the one year anniversary of her mother’s death and she had come along to try and open herself up a little more to what she was feeling. Families, couples, friends, individuals of all ages came through. I saw kids drawing on and decorating the gorgeous cardboard coffin supplied by The Natural Death Centre and enjoying the performances put on for them.
All in all it felt normal, natural, open and fun…as well it should. It wasn’t grim, morbid, depressing, or weird. Ok so maybe some bits were a bit weird.
To most it still seems like something you wouldn’t attend unless you have some direct relevance to it all – like those of us in the industry, the elderly, those who are dying, or the recently bereaved. But I’ve got news for you. The topic is relevant, very relevant, to all of us.
I was asked a few weeks ago, when talking about my work, whether I had any statistics around death. So I have done some thorough research and this is what I came up with. Overwhelmingly, reports seem to show this:
-100% of people die
Feel free to contact me privately if you’d like to know my sources – though, rather unusually, every source I checked said the same thing. Very curious indeed. 😉
Avoiding the topic of death isn’t very healthy, doesn’t keep you alive longer, isn’t really all that natural, encourages fear, and keeps the one thing you are sure to do in your life as a ‘taboo and controversial topic’, which it really shouldn’t be.
Talking about death, in an open and normal way, diminishes the fear and mystery around it, helps you appreciate life even more, and means you are better prepared when it comes into your life (which it has before and it will again) – in whatever form that takes.
My greater mission is to redefine the way the world understands and experiences G.R.I.E.F (because the way it is typically understood is, to be honest, pretty archaic and unhelpful), and before that can happen the world first needs to be willing to understand and experience death differently. And that is achieved by talking about it.
Long live Deathfest. Woo hoo!
Till next time,
Kristie
xx
{ 4 comments }
I can’t believe that statistic – that’s such a high death rate 100% 🙂 Who’d have thought it?? So we are not finite after all? After getting over the shock of that I found the whole concept really healthy. A chance to explore the inevitable. Wow. Thanks Kristie great blog. Just left wondering where that leaves people who attend… what might they be taking away from the event – awareness? Or the opportunity for more?
I know Fi…shocking isn’t it. 😉
Those who were there…and who wanted more info/community…would have certainly come away with plenty of information, contacts, and different groups they can be in touch with should they so desire.
xx
I’d like to dispute your 100%. Every day I read stories in the papers which give stats generated by the govt which show that the death rate is falling.
Having reconsidered the evidence, I now see that life-saving interventions by medics, medicines and the like don’t actually save your life, they just postpone your death.
Dang it. Just when I thought I might slip under the wire. Need to get my head around this. You’re right: none of us gets out of here alive.
How very liberating!
That was a short-lived dispute Charles. 🙂 Yep I too was horrified when I learnt the truth.
I’ve since contacted my mother and asked her to locate the document that says how long I’ll live – you know, the one that promises me 93 years of life – and she can’t find it anywhere. I told her to keep looking. I know it exists!
At the Deathfest I approached one man to invite him to the death cafe. He said to me ‘you’re a little young to be thinking about death’. Perhaps he has my piece of paper…as he must know something I don’t.
Sarcasm aside (briefly), you are so right…..it is very liberating once we well and truly get our heads round that simple fact.
xx