Don’t listen to them….
Recently I was talking with a friend who used to do beautiful grief work.
Like me, he healed completely from a huge death in his life, beyond what he imagined possible and certainly beyond what anyone else told him was possible.
He went looking for others who could relate, as he knew his experience was so radically different to that of most, and this is how he found me, and we became friends.
When I say he ‘used’ to do beautiful grief work…..he still offers it for the right people, but he stepped away from actively pursuing because, like me, he started off feeling so passionate and thinking ‘wow, nobody knows you can heal. They need to know!’ and sharing it wherever and whenever he could. And then, like me, he finally realised how most people don’t get it and don’t want it and, like me, he became very disillusioned. He chose to go back to actively focusing on other work. For me I had decided not to bother trying to educate or convince the masses – it was heartbreaking to realise that most people didn’t believe and didn’t want to heal anyway – and just focus only on those like you, who believe that healing completely from grief is possible, and want it.
I joked to my friend that 99.9% of people don’t get it, and he laughed and said that he’s naturally more optimistic than I am, so he thought it must be 99.5%
Now why am I sharing this? Because it can seem pretty negative, pretty bleak, pretty discouraging.
I share this because I want you to know how important that spark in you that believes it must be possible to heal is….and to not let ANYONE take it away from you or make you think you’re wrong.
You need just a little belief/hope that it’s possible to heal, to be grief-free (you wouldn’t be bothering here otherwise!). It doesn’t matter that it isn’t 100% certainty, or even 50% certainty. Just that little part of you saying “surely there’s more than this. Surely I can truly heal”.
This can be very challenging when it’s not something you’ve experienced (yet).
But a bigger challenge is when almost everyone else disagrees with you. For some of you I may be the lone voice talking about healing and telling you you can.
And the people telling you that you can’t?
Some of them have much experience with grief.
Some have degrees and Phd’s.
Some have well-known books and places on talk shows and very high profiles.
Some are your family and very closest friends.
Some are your coaches and mentors and counsellors – people you trust and invest in and learn from.
Some are incredibly powerful spiritual and religious leaders.
And sometimes it can be hard to believe in healing as a possibility up against all that. And this can be enough to turn some people away from taking a healing path.
But here’s the thing: THEY DON’T KNOW. They simply don’t.
They aren’t bad, but they are wrong.
They may know many things, but not this.
They haven’t experienced healing (and not because it’s not available to them), so they don’t believe it’s true.
Trust that part of you that knows.
And let me be your example. You’ve been hanging around with me a while. You know me a little bit. And, unless you think I’m lying or I’m in some highly complicated and effective space of total grief-denial (I’m not), you know I’ve healed.
So you know someone who has healed. One person at the very least. So right there…it exists. It’s a possibility. It’s not impossible. It’s a real thing.
There are plenty of things in life that were, once upon a time, considered impossible, and then possible but rare, and then very commonplace.
And don’t be discouraged by the 99.9% (or 99.5%). Healing is available to them too, when they’re ready – as it is for everybody – that time, for most, just isn’t right now.
So don’t listen to ANYONE who says you can’t heal completely, utterly, and permanently, no matter their justification. Because they simply don’t know. Trust and nurture that voice in you – whether little or loud – that knows you can.
Much love,
Kristie
xx
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Tagged as:
bereavement,
death,
grief,
healing from grief
