Is your grief too ‘complicated’ to heal?
Sometimes people will ask me whether it’s possible specifically for them to heal because of all the ‘complications’ around their grief. Things that are happening since, things that happened in the past (sometimes very secret things), special circumstances, other stories. They’ll give me the list of things that make their situation ‘different from the norm’ and wonder whether their particular grief/situation/life might exclude them from the possibility of healing.
The truth is that it is NEVER about the circumstances. No-one’s grief is simple….because no-one’s life is simple. If you ever see someone and think that their grief is simply that, and not coloured by anything else at all, then you simply don’t know enough about their story.
Every single person’s experience after a death is complicated.
Every death has other stories tied to it. Sometimes secret ones, sometimes old ones, sometimes very painful ones. Every grief is a puzzle made of many pieces – different for each person. Every life is intricate and complicated and messy….and all of that shows up in people’s experiences of grief.
It is never about the circumstances, the stories, the background, the ‘complications’.
Everyone can heal from grief, no matter what the story or set of circumstances.
The only question that matters here is : do you want to heal your grief?
That’s the only factor as to whether you will or not.
The only real reason people don’t heal from their grief is that firstly they don’t want to, and if they do that they don’t know the way.
That’s it.
Everyone’s grief is ‘complicated’. No-one is the norm. And everyone’s grief can be healed, completely, no matter what the story.
Kristie
xx
