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Dr Shefali’s thoughts on death

Dr Shefali’s thoughts on death

I watched a brilliant video by Dr Shefali recently. I’m a big fan, but I usually go to her for her parenting wisdom. This time though she was talking about death and was pretty spot on.

“Death is one of those taboo topics that no-one really wants to talk about because we’re terrified of it.

Specifically with our children. We would rather lie to them, pretend the dog didn’t die, we would rather make up stories, rather than talk about death in it’s true nature.

I do believe that we need to move away from the taboo nature of death and really begin to embrace death in a new way.

We need to understand that death is part of life. It’s happening all of the time. In fact, death is happening right now. Right now, the cells in your body, while you’re watching me talk have died and new cells have been rebirthed. Part of nature is constant death. Death is happening at all moments of life. If we avoid death, we actually avoid life. And one of the many reasons we really can’t live life fully is because we are afraid of dying.

So, when we understand that death is a part of life and it needs to be looked at squarely, it is only then that we can live life fully. I try to think of death, especially when explaining it to a child, as clouds. Clouds that move across the sky. Do the clouds disappear? Or do they transform?

Death is transformation of life. It is life in a different form. Nothing really ever dies. Energy can never die, energy can only transform. So when we teach our children that death is not the end of life, but it is the transformation of life’s energy, then we teach our children not to be afraid of this existential crisis called death.

We need to teach ourselves first to embrace the transformations of life. And to look at every cycle of life as a transformation. Not as a death. Not as an end. Not as a failure. But as a transformation. As a completion of one cycle into the next.

So when we embrace this idea of life transforming eternally, and that death is never a finality, but it is a transition, it is a renewal, then we will stop living in fear of it. And we will teach our children to embrace it as well. So, from this perspective, we never need to struggle with this idea about death. It doesn’t need to be a taboo topic anymore. It can be truly a new perspective on life.”

This may seem a little simplistic….and it is. You may get the ideas she shares here, you may find them enlightening, but you may also find that in practise they shift your grief little, if in any way at all. But that is not because these ideas are wrong, or because you can’t feel this way about death too. It just takes more work than reading this, is all.

If you would like to feel completely differently about death, and are prepared to do the work it takes to get there, then watch this space, as I am launching a very exciting online membership program in April. Details will follow in the next couple of weeks. If you aren’t already signed up to my mailing list do so, or email me directly to make sure you receive details about this.